How sparklewrens can be both fearful and stroppy
It’s in my nature, as it is in so many peoples’, to feel very anxious from time-to-time. This is generally completely unfounded, common sense tells me so! And yet, I can still worry with the best of them.
Yesterday, for example, my first article for Foundations Revealed was published online. This is both exciting and terrifying! I love writing and exploring a topic, it’s a big part of how I learn. And, as you may have guessed if you’re a regular reader, learning makes me happy! This is one of the reasons why I am thrilled to be part of FR (along with the LJ corset-based communities) as I believe that those who are inclined to learn should have every opportunity to access information and education. Which isn’t to say that those things should be easily got… hard work is what makes education worthwhile and none of us should be afraid of research, reading and practical experimentation. None-the-less, putting my work forward to be read is frightening. I generally prefer to fly under the radar, and avoid attention. So my confidence was starting to fail me when the February edition was due to go live. I had to tell myself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” and try not to think about it.
Then today, a lovely client emailed me some low-res images modeling her black cherry bespoke corset (with better ones to follow for my own cropping and re-sizing, etc.). You can see these currently at the top of my facebook page. And this is an occasion where my confidence is high! Remote fittings and toiles are all well and good, but until you’ve seen the final corset worn (and made any changes, if necessary) it can be tricky to relax about it. This sort of self-doubt has nothing to do with one’s skills, of course, as I know my skills to be up to the job. It’s just a natural trait that some of us have. I knew this corset would fit and yet still felt a little rush of relief and pleasure when I saw that it did indeed fit perfectly. And the client, bless her heart, is so enthusiastic and happy to let me know how thrilled she is that I’m feeling rather top-cat today!
And where does the “stroppiness” come in? Well, if I weren’t at all indignant and stroppy about my skills I would never share them! My confidence comes and goes, but my belligerence can always be relied upon. So today, I am able to say that I am proud of these two things and that they’re both b****y good! But tomorrow, though I’ll still know it to be true, I may not say it quite so confidently 
5 comments to “How sparklewrens can be both fearful and stroppy”
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I'm right there with you. Always flip sides of the same coin. Your article in Foundations Revealed is great by the way.
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Thanks Jo, I loved the profile they did on you! Have they convinced you to write an article yet? You really should...
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Funny, I just agreed to write an article. Now I'm excited and terrified!
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Yay! I'm very excited to see what you come up with. You have the talent of being able to communicate in words what you're doing *very* effectively, it will be a great article I'm sure :-D
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Aw, thanks Jenni! Excited and terrified!
Jo
February 17, 2010 1:16:pm